Revelation
12:10-12
New King James Version (NKJV)
10 Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation,
and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have
come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and
night, has been cast down. 11 And they overcame him by the blood of
the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives
to the death.
The Word
tells us that in all things to give praise to the Lord. That means when we feel
like it and when we don’t. Today I specifically want to write about when I
didn’t. On September 7, 2011 I woke early to not be able to sit up without
passing out. Every time I tried to move I would “black out” again, eventually I
was able to get loud enough to wake my wife who was in the other room. ( I fell
asleep watching westerns from the couch.)
She tried to help me get up with the result of calling the EMT’s. In the
hospital doing many tests seeing if I had a stroke, the discovered I had
pinched nerves from crushed disks in the neck which would require surgery. We
also discovered that without medication my black outs stopped.
I was sent
home and given an appointment for the neurosurgeon. My legs continued to get worse yet; we were
waiting for the insurance company to approve the surgery. AT that point I was
NOT praising God! Honestly, I was scared, thinking my life would remain with
the walker I was now using. Believing I would end up in a wheel chair at which
point I thought death would be a much better alternative. Know this I was not
in a depressed state wanting to commit suicide. I was asking God to take me
home if I would no longer be any good for my wife or my children. (Self-Pity)
On Sept 29,
2011 I went into surgery for my neck with the assurance from the doctor that he
had never had any of the negative things happen during one of his surgeries
like this. Being fair the surgery went well it was worse than he thought but
made it to cut out three disks and replace with three cadaver bones. The family
had all went home for rest, they moved me from recovery to my room where
suddenly. (The rest comes from doctor records)
I quit
breathing and unresponsive. At that point they hooked me up to a
ventilator. It was at this point that I
believe I had a vision. I did NOT see a light, what I did see was what seemed
like a video from my past. I saw youth, children, and adults I have ministered
to throughout the years. Some of them spoke to me some did not. It was so real,
coming to I believed that they had all really been at the hospital. This is important; everything I saw was a
positive and nothing at all negative. ( SIN )
Even though
I didn’t know I had been in ICU for 12 days occasionally I would start to wake
up. I saw the machine hooked to me and grew angry as I had made it clear to my
family NO MACHINES period. With my anger growing it did not take them long to
put me back to sleep. Each time I kept asking God to take me home and yes I
really wanted to die and go to my home in heaven. It got really bad and NO I
was Not Praising God! At one point I remember
saying to Him I’m done I can’t take any more. I even quoted scripture to Him;
You said “You wouldn’t give me more than I could bear.” At that point I know I
heard I’m not done with you yet!
That was the
point fight came back into my body I know the Holy Ghost rose up inside of me
helped me begin to fight. I do not know how many more days I was in the
hospital. All I know is when they took the tubes out of me and off the
breathing machine I went home the very next day. I did not go to another floor to
recuperate I went home. This was on a Thursday on Sunday I testified in church.
Now to be
fair I had not told anyone about the vision I had. Many of you would understand
that I know that most people will call me crazy. It was so real and I needed
time to pray ask God to reveal the vision to me with the purpose of the vision.
I kept knocking and asking until He revealed to me that this is how He sees me.
That I needed to let go of the past, sin is not visible to Him as it is covered
under the blood. Friends, I think it is vital that I say this does not give you
permission to go and sin. It does however bring freedom to those of us still be
accused by the accuser.
( 1 Peter 1:13-21 )
13 Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your
hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of
Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to
the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who
called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16
because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”[c]
17 And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges
according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your
stay here in fear; 18 knowing that you were not redeemed with
corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received
by tradition from your fathers, 19 but with the precious blood of
Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. 20 He indeed
was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these
last times for you 21 who through Him believe in God, who raised Him
from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God
I ask all of
you to pray and ask the Lord to reveal to you the truth in this writing as I
believe this testimony will set You Free!